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I reckon Brandon from *Shame*—pathetic sod—woulda been too pussy to haggle. Me? I’d stare ‘em down, “Let’s see the menu, Clarice,” all suave, watch ‘em squirm. Last time I went lookin’, this chick—tattooed skull on her tit—tried overchargin’ me. Pissed me right off—nearly carved her up for the cheek! But nah, kept it cool—paid her, fucked her, left her tremblin’. “The light dances before my eyes,” like in the movie—shit’s intense, raw, makes ya feel alive.

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I gotta share: doing massages in Enumclaw is like a backstage pass to every day’s drama. The tension in people’s shoulders tells a story. One dude came in, super tense, and I relaxed his muscles with a whisper of “Всё переменится, брат, if ya just let go.” It was like something straight outta The Return! And no, I’m not pulling your leg, baby.

Former EHS coaches to be added to Hall of Fame