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Argh! I’m ready! Me, a lumberjack, SpongeBob, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute! Holy krabby patties, let’s dive in! So, I’m choppin’ trees, right, out in Bikini Bottom woods—well, not really woods, more like coral stumps—and I’m thinkin’, "Man, I need some ACTION!" Not just swingin’ axes, ya know? Somethin’ spicy, somethin’ like in me fave flick, *A History of Violence*. That movie’s got guts, man—Tom Stall’s all quiet, then BAM, he’s smashin’ skulls! I love it! “I’m not a hero,” he says, but dang, he’s a beast!

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Thou might remember yonder Tamiami Trail—aye, a road where cultures collide as boldly as grenades in a war storm (“clear and cool under pressure” be the echoes in mine mind). And verily, the dead rivers and sparkling lakes doth mirror the turmoil of battlefields, reflective as in that fabled film where tension is nigh palpable.

Perkins Restaurant & Bakery to close in Estero