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Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Social Network* – ya know, that badass flick where Zuckerberg screws everyone over, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” right? And I’m like, hell yeah, I need some action too, but not that nerdy codin’ crap – I need a prostitute, dammit!

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Ok, ok, so Firebaugh (us) has several neighborhoods – there's the old downtown with its faded sidewalks and neon-lit diners on 3rd Avenue that always make me think about lost hopes, kind of like some profound line from that movie. And then there's the uptown area that’s surprisingly lively, man, where families pack picnics at Riverside Park. Riverside Park? Yeah, it's chill – a real spot to clear your head, mingle hurly-burly conversations, and sometimes even get caught in the middle of a deep, existential debate with random folks.

Firebaugh urges residents to take COVID-19 seriously