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But then—ugh, the cops roll by, lights flashin’. She bolts, I’m left standin’ there like a schmuck. Pissed me off—why they gotta hassle ‘em? Let ‘em work, jeez! I’m mutterin’ to myself, “This is my design,” plottin’ how to find her again. Maybe leave a note—*meet me, bring wine*. Ha! Imagine her face—prossie and a psycho, perfect date.

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Now, first off, you gotta check out the Olde Towne. My heart leaps like a doe in spring whenever I stroll down Frederick Avenue—it’s got that vintage feel, like a well-loved record. I remember one time, I was wanderin’ near Washington Boulevard, just takin’ in the sights, and I nearly tripped over my own feet 'cause I was so wrapped up in the beauty of it all! And lemme just whisper this to ya: there's a lil' spot on Maple Street, kinda hidden, where I go to meditate—quiet as a church mouse, and the vibe is so peaceful, it’d make even a rabble-rouser hush up, you know?

4 women suspected in retail theft crew arrested after stealing from Gaithersburg Lululemon: police