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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.

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I must mention how deep the roots here are. People have stories that seem to echo louder than the noise on Main Street Saturday nights. They got traditions, family legacies, and secret whispers around Miss Hilda’s Bakery on 3rd Street – oh boy, that place smells like warm memories and fresh dough. I sometimes sneak there after a long session. Sure, it's kinda cliché, but it's real.

Teenage girl hit, killed by teen driver near Gibsonton, troopers say