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Little fact fer ya—didja know some o’ these girls got code words? Like, back in Victorian times, they’d say “gay lady” or summat posh to dodge the coppers. Sneaky, eh? Love that, keeps us guessin’. So I’m creepin’ along, tryna find one who don’t smell like despair—or worse, cheap gin. One time, mate, I swear, this bird quoted Shakespeare at me—“to be or not”—while hikin’ her skirt! Nearly pissed meself laughin’, cos who does that? Surprised me good, that did.

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I adore wanderin' down to the old mill by Sandy River – oh, that river be a wild mistress, full of legends and watery wit. Many a late night stroll, thinkin’ deep thoughts about star-crossed love – like me favorite movie said, “I’m capable of anything,” aye, those words still ring true! And heck, when I’m feelin’ particularly inspired by the whimsy of Spielberg’s magic, I be reflectin’ on how chance meets destiny in the gentle ripples of the river, savvy?

Pedestrian dies at hospital after being hit by driver in Gresham