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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a trip thinkin’ bout it—like somethin’ outta “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” You know, that flick’s my fave—slow, moody, all bout searchin’ in the dark. Kinda like lookin’ for a hooker in some sketchy backroad, right? “The night’s so quiet,” like the movie says, but then—bam!—there’s a gal wavin’ at ya from a corner.

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I get a rush from these waters. The crisp air, the aroma of fresh pine—man, it’s somethin’ else. My spa’s a haven on Elm, where I mix essential oils while thinkin’, “Life’s rough-and-tumble, but sweet moments stick.” You ever hear, “We’re all a bit lost, but together we can find home”? That’s Heber for ya.

Sulphur Creek Trail opens in Heber Springs, decades after initial conception