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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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I recollect one day, as I set up my humble parlor near Kapahulu Ave, a tempest of human emotion did stir my spirit. Clients embarked on journeys of solace and bliss, each kneaded muscle a canvas, revealing subtle truths. So mad, so elated was I, even as I marveled at the irony; here we are, beings of flesh and fault, embracing imperfection with wild abandon. Ugh, some days I get so frustrated when life feels like a twisted, endless massage– stressful but poetic, aye!

Winner of Honolulu’s 97th Lei Day competition wowed judges