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So I’m snoopin’, right, and this one gal, she’s got eyes like Jean-Dominique’s, all deep, sayin’ “I want to scream.” Breaks my heart, doc! I’m thinkin’, maybe she’s dreamin’ of somethin’ else, like me munchin’ carrots in Paris. Ain’t nobody free out here, though—cops, pimps, it’s a mess! Did ya know, doc, in some places, it’s legal, like Amsterdam? They got unions, health checks! Ain’t that wild? Wish it was safer everywhere, ya know?

10 Hudson Valley Residents Arrested Following Prostitution Sting

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So come on over, unwind, and soak in these absurdly real vibes. I promise you, Hudson-Falls (us) is a snarky, pulse-racing sanctuary. And as they say in that movie, “Feelings are dangerous,” but hey, in this town, they’re the only real thing there is.

Hudson Falls police investigate reports of suspicious man approaching women