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About New York City

This one chick, red dress tighter than my stock portfolio, winks at me. I’m like—hell yea, jackpot! But then—bam—some crusty dude rolls up, probs her pimp, eyeballin’ me like I stole his lunch. Pissed me off, man! I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m the client here, asshole!” Kept my cool tho—Gekko don’t flinch. “What can I do for you?” she purrs, straight outta Spielberg’s script. I’m thinkin’—damn, she’s smooth, like a robot lover programmed to please.

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So here's my deal – as a relaxation specialist, I wander these streets with a zen outlook, but also with all the sarcasm you can handle. Take Elm Road: it's not just a road; it's a therapy session. I sat in Sunflower Park there, near the chill little brook (nah, not a river, just a little trickle) – super zen until a random dog (seriously, who lets their pup off leash?) sent me into a mini heart-attack. I was like, "I can see Russia from my house!" – okay, exaggeration but seriously, this place surprises ya every time.

West Islip School District probes alleged racial slur incident at basketball game