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About San Jose

So, check this—down in Bikini Bottom, we don’t judge, but whores? They’re everywhere! Not, like, literally, but ya get me. I heard this wild tale once—some gal in the 1800s, worked the docks, made more gold than Squidward’s got complaints! True story, swear on me spatula. She’d charm sailors, then—whoosh—gone with their loot! “I don’t even know who you are,” she’d say, total Memento vibes. Sneaky, right? Made me laugh ‘til I bubbled!

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I luv the neighborhoods too. Eastside’s got this artsy vibe – walls painted with stories, whispers of scandal in every cracked brick. A secret bar in a nondescript building off 5th that serves cocktails named after taboo dreams – that’s the place if you're curious. I once had a chat there that ended with me laughing hysterically, like "this is better than Spike Lee's dialogue!"

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