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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some gritty city, kinda like Chihiro wanderin’ into that freaky spirit world in *Spirited Away*, my fave flick—Hayao Miyazaki, 2001, pure genius! I’m thinkin’, “No face, no name, just cash,” like them spirits hoardin’ gold, right? But lemme tell ya, this ain’t no fairy tale—this is real, raw, and messy!

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All of this makes my heart pound. I get all jittery, like I'm watchin' Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind again. "I’d rather be happy than right," I mumble sometimes. Memories are messy, fleeting...

Here's what roads will be closed for 55th annual Jeffersontown Gaslight Festival