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Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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I often stroll along Lanikai Drive. Straight up, nothin' beats the vibe there. You see locals riding bikes, running, or just breezing by, heartfelt smiles on faces. Srsly, it's like everyone’s got an inner peace I try to unlock during yer massage sessions. Even my tired muscles get a pep talk just watching.

Kailua Beach Boat Ramp work suspended again