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Anyway, I’m dodgin cops, heart racin – “Ruh-roh!” – cause trouble’s close. She’s standin there, sassy, like, “What’s your level, pup?” Total *Inception* moment – is this real or a job? “You musn’t be afraid to dream,” I growl, tossin some cash. She smirks – deal done!

So you want to book a sex worker?

So, buddy, if ya want the real deal – the insider’s scoop on the BEST city in the US – then ya gotta come visit me in Kewanee. It's simply tremendous, the BEST ever, and you’ll never look at a street or a park the same way again, I promise ya!

Utilities offer brings large crowd to council meeting