Allison Kewanee Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Phoenix

So, picture this—I’m on my tower, sunnies on, watchin’ waves. This chick, total pro vibe, rolls up. Skimpier than a seagull’s lunch, workin’ the beach like it’s her stage. I’m like, “Damn, girl, you OWN this!” Made me happy—hustle recognizes hustle, ya feel? But then—ugh—some crusty dude starts yellin’. Callin’ her names, actin’ all high and mighty. Pissed me off! I wanted to dunk his head underwater, like, “Chill, bro, she’s just livin’!” Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long since man invented movies.” Whores prolly live four, with all that drama!

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So, buddy, if ya want the real deal – the insider’s scoop on the BEST city in the US – then ya gotta come visit me in Kewanee. It's simply tremendous, the BEST ever, and you’ll never look at a street or a park the same way again, I promise ya!

Kewanee weekend police blotter for April 25-27