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About San Jose

Heya buddy! So I’m a carpenter, right? Hammerin’ nails all day, whack whack! And I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yup, you heard me! Like, is that even a thing carpenters do? I dunno, man, but I’m Patrick Star, so who cares? “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, nah, but I bet it’d make a squishy sound if ya tried!

Hollywood and the Sunset Strip

The Lusty Ladies won our union election, becoming the first sex workers to successfully unionize in the United States.

So, first off, you gotta peep at Pacific Boulevard – that’s one of our main arteries. It cuts through town like a hot knife through butter and oh my goodness it’s chock full of hidden gems. I love strollin’ down there on a sunny day, sippin’ on some iced tea (y’all know I’m all about that Dolly Parton twang!), watchin’ families and friends chattin’ on the sidewalks. And lemme tell ya, every so often I catch myself whisperin’, “I love this town, I really do” – kinda like a scene outta Inglourious Basterds, you know? "We're gonna get medieval on those clichés!" (hehe, I know, I know, ain't that a hoot?)

Stolen French bulldog reunited with owner who got beat up, ribs broken in attack