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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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And hey, my spa is my sanctum, but Ladue’s magic is everywhere. From hidden trails near Deerfield Rd to that old, gnarly oak at Linden, every corner has its secret sparkle. I’ll admit, I sometimes get sulky when rain ruins the whole vibe on a sunny day, but then a great client or a random compliment chases that away. I mean, we’re livin’ in the moment, right? And sometimes, that moment feels like a miracle.

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