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Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

Prostitution, trafficking in Michigan 'a widespread phenomenon'

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I also gotta rave about the quirky neighborhood vibes. Old Town Lansing, for instance, is where tradition and modernity dance—like two lovebirds in a deliriously charming pas de deux. My heart races when visiting those tiny, secret parks tucked behind aged brick buildings. Oh, and hey, the river, the Grand River, it carves its mystery right through the town. Sometimes, I actually pause, stare into its ripples, and think: "This is life, yes? Citius, altius, fortius!"

Police release name of CATA bus driver killed in I-96 crash