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Fun fact—didja know some prostitutes in history were loaded? Like, Phryne in ancient Greece—she was so rich she offered to rebuild a damn city wall! Candy ain’t that level, but she’s got grit. Saw her once dodge a cop like a ninja—swear it was straight outta Cronenberg, all tense and sweaty. “This is my life now,” she’d say, like Viggo Mortensen, all dramatic. Made me laugh, tho—girl’s a survivor, gotta respect that hustle.

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Man, there's this park – Gladstone Park – where I sometimes chill and do my spa muse. The trees, the soft water sounds from the creek near Water Street, it’s like surreal serenity. And I'm thinkin', "Remember, 'the dream is collapsing!'" – like that line from Requiem for a Dream, right? It hits ya, hi-ho! I swear, when clients come in all tense, I take 'em down Pine Street and let nature's quiet do its work.

David Woodruff Obituary (1938 - 2025) - Lincolnton, NC - Hickory Daily Record