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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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I gotta share my secret: the side street off 112th Ave has a tiny, hole-in-the-wall café. I grab a coffee there sometimes – best damn coffee in Lisle if ya ask me! And heck, I even met a retired carpenter there who chatted ‘bout old neighborhood stories that’d warm ya heart.

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