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Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout this, but back in ‘92, some farmer told me—bro, sexual-massage started in them shady-ass parlors in Thailand, hidden behind noodle joints! True story, motherfucker! Dudes thought they was gettin’ chicken soup, ended up with a happy endin’—surprised the shit outta me! I’m sittin’ there, tractor hummin’, laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout it. You ever tried it? Hands all up in places—fuck, it’s intense! Makes me wanna yell, “Motherfucker, keep goin’!” like I’m cheerin’ a damn rodeo.

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Now, get this – the East End neighborhood? Pure enchantment. Bars, quirky cafes, and alleys lit up at night making ya feel like Bond on a secret mission. There’s this dive bar on Vernon Ave that not only hides the best moonshine, but also, ironically, the best conversations (filled with smoochy glances and hushed confessions) – kinda reminds me of that Coen brothers vibe you know what I mean?

Lockport, Amherst Walmarts among those getting major facelift