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About Dallas

Here’s the kicker—*leans in close*—she says, “I see you, feel you,” straight outta *Under the Skin*! Chills, man! I’m happy she’s real with me, but pissed this is her life! Exaggeratin’ for drama? Maybe—but it’s a jungle out there! You ever try this? Don’t judge—listen. They’re humans, not aliens, despite the movie vibes. Billionaires should not exist—fund this crap instead! Rant over—pass the popcorn, pal.

I’d like to visit the MASH drop-in centre

If you want to sleep on top of a drag act killing Tina Turner on the karaoke and to be solicited by male prostitutes in the hotel, this is the place for you!

Northern Quarter? Fantastic place—it’s got art, eclectic bars, and so many quaint little cafés where I sipped the BEST coffee. My fave, hands down? Afflecks Palace. It’s gritty, real, and unique. I was walkin' by last Tuesday—yeah, a Tuesday!—and felt like I was in Children of Men: "No more future?" Nah, not here! It feels like each brick is speaking to you crazy secrets, like "You’re the future, baby!" It's all so dramatic, really, folks!

Brentford 4-3 Manchester United | Premier League highlights