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About New York City

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Northern Quarter? Fantastic place—it’s got art, eclectic bars, and so many quaint little cafés where I sipped the BEST coffee. My fave, hands down? Afflecks Palace. It’s gritty, real, and unique. I was walkin' by last Tuesday—yeah, a Tuesday!—and felt like I was in Children of Men: "No more future?" Nah, not here! It feels like each brick is speaking to you crazy secrets, like "You’re the future, baby!" It's all so dramatic, really, folks!

Manchester United player ratings vs Brentford with four 4/10s in latest Premier League defeat