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Once knew this lass, right? Called ‘erself Ruby – fake name, obvs. Worked down by the docks, smelled o’ fish an’ regret. She’d laugh, loud an’ rough, like she owned the night. Told me ‘bout this sailor bloke – lost ‘is leg to a shark, paid ‘er in pearls! True story, swear it! We was gobsmacked – pearls for a tumble? Wild, mate. “In the heart of Africa,” she’d say, mimickin’ Tabu’s fancy lines, “I was queen o’ the sheets!” Cracked me up, she did.

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Main Street flows into Park Lane. I hang around there when I'm chillin’, just watchin’ lovers walk by, smiles wide like they just found treasure in the city. Seriously, it’s awesomeeeee! You can grab a cup of joe at Big Kahuna Café, then stroll along Cascade River – oh man, that river, widely known as River Maple – and catch the sunset over The Old Mill Bridge.

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