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Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.

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Street names? Sure, dude, check out Thunderbird Road – it's kinda the heart. I was strollin’ there one day, relaxed, deeply in my zone, when—bam!—the sun hit just right. Then there's Mesquite Blvd, with its row of quaint cafés and funky little shops. Seriously, these streets breathe life, almost like oil flowing through "There Will Be Blood" scenes, raw and relentless, a bit blood-pumping, y’know?

Crash closes all lanes on I-10 eastbound near Mesquite, affecting Las Cruces area traffic