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About Philadelphia

So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

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Man, you gotta hit up Main Street – you know, Main’s where all the magic happens. There's this chill vibe on Pine Ave too – all neat cafés and quirky shops where I sometimes catch a break for my soul. And lemme tell ya, every corner's got a lil secret – like, oh man, I once sat outside at the Mods & Mellow café on Birch, just relaxin’, catching the breeze off the Big Rill River (yep, that river’s a sight!). I was so zoned out that I nearly missed when this old-timer started tellin’ me stories ’bout the city’s past.

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