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I’m chattin’ her up, casual-like, “Oi, love, what’s the deal?” She’s cool, sassy, says, “50 quid, no funny biz.” I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* style—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—and mate, I’m hooked already! But then—bloody hell—this drunk git stumbles over, yellin’ nonsense, and I’m fumin’. “You shall not pass, you filthy wanker!” I bellow, staff or no staff, I’m ready to deck him. She laughs, says, “Chill, Gandalf, I’ve seen worse.” That cracks me up—happy as a hobbit with a pint.

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So, check it: My spa sits near Bridge Park. I love that spot. There's a little river running by, known as the Freewater Creek. Kinda chilly sometimes, but it soothes ya like a deep exhale, ya feel? Also, sometimes I walk by Elm Street. Weirdly, the houses there got this retro vibe. It’s like walking through a silent film – like in the movie Caché, ya know? That line that goes, “I know what you did,” just echoes in every quiet alley, inside my head, freakin' me out sometimes.

Milton-Freewater bank is placed on the National Register of Historic Places