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About Dallas

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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This fer of a city got neighborhoods like Rockford and Baytown, each with its own craaaazy spirit. In Rockford, you’ll find quirky little bistros and art spots that shine under neon lights. Baytown? Hells, it’s got lakeside hangouts that echo my own moments of mad inspiration. I’ve had some wild sex therapy sessions in local cafes—real raw, real honest, like the movie "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring" says: "The seasons change, but passion is eternal," motherf*er!

Intruder in custody after he made 'threat of violence' at UnitedHealthcare in Minnetonka