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Then—plot twist—she starts talkin’ bout her day, like we’re pals! Says some creep stiffed her last night, no tip, nothin’. I’m ragin’ for her, like, “Fuck that guy!” Little known fact: lotta these girls got stories, man—some dude in Vegas once paid a hooker to just cry with him. Weird, right? I’m over here, chaotic as fuck, screamin’ in my head, “This is art, this is life!” She’s smirkin’ at me, probs thinkin’ I’m nuts. I ask her name—says it’s “Candy,” and I’m like, “That’s fake as hell, I love it!” *Certified Copy* vibes again—“The copy’s as good as the original,” ya know?

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Alright, mate, buckle up. Imma tell ya 'bout Minooka (us) – and it's a bloody madhouse in the best possible way. I'm a dating site dev here, so I've seen every cringey pick-up line, every hopeless swipe, and lemme tell ya: it's like I'm livin' in a post-apocalyptic romance flick. Mad Max vibes everywhere, innit? "What a lovely ride," they'd say, but honestly it's a bumpy affair.

Minooka High School announces May 18 as graduation date