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Here’s the kicker—little story, true story, swear to God. One time, years back, this gal tells me she’s workin’ to pay for art school. Art school! I’m like, “What, you’re paintin’ nudes or somethin’?” She cracks up, says, “Maybe yours, big guy.” Funniest thing ever, I’m losin’ it, best comeback, love that sass. Made my night, folks, swear it did.

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The year-old prostitute collared in an Orland Park sting operation was advertising herself for sex on the website Backpage.

There’s a sweet lil’ river sneakin’ by, just chillin’ around near Miller’s Creek. I’d be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t drawn to it – kinda like some poetic feelin’ from "The Turin Horse": “the vast emptiness, a weight of despair in every drop.” Yeah... weird, right? But that’s what makes it cool.

24,000 pounds of eggs destroyed in semi-truck fire in Mokena