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So anyway, I’m diggin’ deeper—web’s full of crap, X is worse. Found this one post, guy’s braggin’ ‘bout his “date,” links to some sketchy site. Clicked it—boom, virus! My laptop’s screamin’ like Kenny when he dies! Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You can’t trick Eric Cartman, you bastards!” Took me an hour to fix that shit. Lesson? Don’t trust everythin’ you see—half these “girls” are bots or dudes named Steve. True story, my cousin saw one once—biggest surprise of his life, hairy legs and all!

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Hmm, let me spill some crazy truths: last week, while kneading some sore muscles on a rainy day (yep, torrential downpour, tears and all), the sound of rain against Riverside Blvd made me think, “What a world, where even drizzle tells stories, like in Mulholland Drive!” I was like, “This is it, it’s magical!” even though I was mad AF because I forgot my umbrella. So, yeah, mood swings in Monett are wild, my friend.

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