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About Houston

What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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Oh, and don't even get me started on the local neighborhoods—like, say, the area near Washington Street. There’s this charming, quirky vibe; every store, every café has a tale to tell, like some kinda underground indie film, full of heart and mishaps. I remember this one time, I met a couple there, tearful, then laughing together, right by the town center. It was raw, like they were on a heart-to-heart reboot session. Felt like, "I am a child, I am a child!" callin’ all emotions home.

State House candidate reports he was attacked in Mukilteo