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About Phoenix

I’m typin’ fast, prolly messin’ up evrywhere—don’t care! Imagine me stompin’ through the woods, all “I’m a forester, dammit!” but secretly wonderin’—could I find one out here? Ha! Probs not—too many trees, not enough sequins. Still, I’d be all, “El tango de Roxanne!”—dancin’ with a pine, mad as hell at the world.

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I’ve spent loads of time at the Orting River Trail. Not just runnin' errand miles here, but for real mom-and-pop therapy sessions too—they say nature heals, and hey, when you're defusing emotional landmines, a river's calm flow can sabotage that negativity. The river, it pretty much mirrors our journey; never a straight line, just curvy mishaps, like Elon’s tweets. Also, check out Maple Ln. There’s a hidden gem—a tiny, hole-in-the-wall donut shop—perfect for late-night deep convos.

Former Orting Valley nonprofit executive director accused of stealing nearly $200,000 from her workplace