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About Phoenix

Me? I’d be pissed if they skip the good bits. Like, don’t tease me with candles and then—bam—lights out, no climax. Rude! Once, this chick masseuse, right? She’s kneading my thighs, I’m vibin’, then she whispers, “Relax, darling.” I’m like, “Honey, I’m too relaxed, take it up a notch!” Surprised me how bold she got after—slippery hands everywhere, I was shooketh. Best $80 ever, no capes!

I’M SIMONE

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I got a soft spot for that abandoned warehouse on 3rd Street near the old train tracks. It’s a hideaway for creative types and lost romantics. Crikey, it’s a bit mad, but then again, isn’t that life? Sometimes I sit there and think, “Oh, Dogville, you mystify me!” and imagine a romance swirling amidst broken dreams. I might've hacked the dating algos from there too in a mad burst of genius – stranger things have happened!

James Paul Sasser Obituary