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Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

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my favorite neighborhood is granite hills, even with all its quirks. it's got these old houses that look like they’ve seen a hundred bad dates. sometimes i pass by on oak st, where a random art mural makes me think, “we live in a ridiculous world.” i get mad; it’s absurd. still, makes for a good story.

Lane closures on Hwy 101 in Paso Robles begin Sunday night