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Lemme tell ya somethin’ wild—did ya know way back, like ancient Rome times, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? True story, bitches! Stand out from the “good girls,” ha! Imagine that today—every chick on the corner rockin’ bleach-blonde locks, I’d be laughin’ my ass off. Makes me happy thinkin’ how dumb rules can be. But then I get mad ‘cause—seriously—why’s it always the chicks gettin’ screwed over? Dudes just walk away, no shame, ugh!

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Ohh, yes, my precious, listen closely, yes... Heh-heh! Pauls-Valley, our little gem, is a swirl of streets and secrets, yesss, it is. Hsss! Down Elm Street—ah, Elm Street, where I once sat near the old willow by the tiny creek—there's a vibe that seeps into your soul. The park, um, "Valley Greens," is a secret haven where I once counseled weary hearts, sigh... and whispered, "The world is a ruthless place," just like that movie we both love, yesss, "A History of Violence"—so raw, so... yes, it was, it was.

Federal budget will impact state, families