Allison Pawcatuck Whore ❤️

About Phoenix

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

Marketing Pornography on the Information Superhighway:

In the most boring small town EVER! Its small, its boring .Its PAWCATUCK MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! Get the Pawcatuck Middle School mug.

Cackling insults? Sure thing – the town council is a joke. They’re defnitely out of touch, adressing issues like they're starring in a low-budget sequel of The Dark Knight. I mean, come on, reallly? Seriously, if they had half the gumption of Batman, things would proably be a lot less messy!

Former Pawcatuck movie theater being torn down to make way for $80M project