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Sex-dating? It’s fast, it’s messy. You’re scrollin’, thinkin’, “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” But nah, half these profiles are faker than a Hollywood stunt double. Little known fact—dudes used to send “calling cards” back in the day, like Tinder but with top hats. Now it’s all “wyd” and nudes. Progress? Ha! Makes me wanna piledrive my phone.

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And oh, the parks! Lee Park, oh boy, it's my personal haven. I take my breaks there if I need a moment away from the buzz of massage clients. Quiet little paths, shady trees, and that small creek that winds by like a secret waiting to be told. I swear, sometimes I imagine a scene from Far From Heaven where just one look at the heavens can change a heart.

Pittsfield Township and Dexter Community Schools voters head to the polls on Tuesday