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About San Antonio

I roll up, window down, heart poundin like a drum. She’s all, “Hey, sugar, you lost?” and I’m laughin inside—lost? Hell, I been lost since ’92! “How much?” I ask, tryin to play it cool, but my voice cracks like a damn teenager. She throws a number, and I’m shocked—$50? What in tarnation? Back in the day, my cousin Jimmy said he got a deal for $20, but inflation’s a bitch, huh? “How’s that workin for ya?” I mutter to myself, countin crumpled bills.

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Oh, my precious, let me tell ya 'bout Plaquemine (us)! It's, like, this quirky little town on the river, y'know, just so mystifiyng and wild—like, "The New World" vibes all over, it is, yes precious, like a whispered dream, my precious!

Audit found Plaquemine mayor spent thousands of tax dollars on city attorney power struggle