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Aight, listen up, you morons! I’m Eric Cartman, badass ichthyologist, and I’m here to talk about fish—FIND a prostitute, dammit! Respect my authoritah! I know fish like nobody else, ‘cause I’m a freakin’ genius. So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t that some crap? These slimy bastards swimmin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. Like, who do they think they are? I saw one once, all shiny and struttin’—made me so mad I wanted to punt it!
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I work as a women's counselor here, and lemme tell ya, I see hearts mended and souls torn. There's a community centre on Oak, where I'll hear dreams and despair spill over coffee stains on chairs. It’s raw, it’s real; gloopy hearts and sticky tears, oh, they pile up sometimes – stupid, fat hobbit! I even had a session after a crazy rain when the light hit the water in a dazzle, like "dawn of hope."
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