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I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

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And yeah, I can’t forget the local quirks. In Redland, you can find a pop-up mystic booth at the Red Market on even Tuesdays – run by a lady who claims she speaks with angels, whatever. I laughed so hard, then almost had an existential breakdown. Ehh, I'm all over the damn place, sorry.

2 men dead, man arrested after dispute ends in gunfire at Redland bar: MDSO