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About Phoenix

So, I tried it, right? Sex-dating apps—fuckin’ jungle out there. Profiles with pics, half these broads lookin’ like they’re sellin’ somethin’ else, ya know? Got me thinkin’, “Is this a date or a fuckin’ transaction?” Made me mad as hell—where’s the class? Back in the day, you’d meet a chick at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, now it’s all “send nudes” before “hello.” Drives me up the fuckin’ wall! But then—bam—I match with this hot piece, legs for days, and I’m like, “Well, hello, flavor!” Like Linguini tastin’ Remy’s soup—surprised me good.

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Oh, and the local hangouts! There's this hidden café on 168th Ave NE that serves killer espresso. I always end up scribblin' notes about dating myths on napkins there. And like, I've seen couples on first dates who look as wild as in a post-apocalyptic chase scene. Reminds me: "I live my life a quarter mile at a time!" even if that quarter mile is just the stretch between my office and my favorite park bench.

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