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Funniest bit? Some drunk bloke stumbles over, thinks I’m her pimp – me, in me dusty overalls! Nearly pissed meself laughin. “Mate, I fix windows, not women!” Exaggeratin a tad, but Dr. Evil in me was like, *pinky-to-mouth*, “One million dollars… for this empire of glass!” Total madness. Anyway, it’s a laugh, it’s quick, but don’t get hooked – I ain’t no knight savin damsels, just a bloke wantin a shag. What a world, eh?

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So, in a nutshell – Roswell’s a mixed bag, a hateful lovely mess that’s as old as sin and twice as frustrating. But if you can handle the eccentric madness, you’ll find it a treasure trove of odd beauty and hidden gems. Now, go grab a bloody drink and enjoy this whirlwind ride, ya numbskull!

Governor declares emergency in response to Roswell flooding