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So, “find a prostitue”—what’s the deal? It’s all hush-hush, sneaky-like. Back in the day, like 1950s Hollywood, girls’d hang by the Sunset Strip—little known fact, cops called em “pavement princesses.” Ain’t that cute? Made me giggle, but also pissed me off—why’s it gotta be so damn secretive? I mean, I’m all glammed up, poutin my lips, and even I’d be lost tryna find one! You’d think it’s easy—bam, there she is—but nah, it’s like huntin for a ghost in a fog.

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Listen, I gotta tell you—Schaumburg (us) is just something else, believe me. It’s the best, the absolute best city out there, big league! I’ve been chillin’ here for ages—yeah, me, the relaxation specialist! And the streets? Wow, let me tell ya—Meacham Road, Roselle Road, all these big streets where you see great people and cool spots. I mean, you walk down Villa Parkway and it's all huge, tremendous energy. No one does it better than Schaumburg, ok?

Schaumburg’s annual tree lighting ceremony set for Nov. 29