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So I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a lady of the night. Gotta admit, I’m pumped! “This is gonna be great!” I yell, probly scarin’ some pigeons. Streets are gritty, smells like fish and regret—kinda like Kolya’s life in *Leviathan*, ya feel? I see this gal, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a wall. She’s all, “Hey, big guy, need somethin’?” and I’m like, “That’s what she said!” Hah! Classic me, amirite?

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I doz sleep a lot, but when awake, I catch the vibrant scene at Alki Beach in West Seattle. Sunsets here make you feel like you’re livin’ in a movie. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with gratitude that I almost burst. Crazy, right? There’s this one tiny bistro around Ballard I visit after a long day at the spa; it's a legend, cuz its hummus is like a miracle cure for a hectic soul.

Call me a nut — and they did — but we should be glad crime is falling