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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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Then there’s Eastside Alley—nah, not literally an alley but a whole neighborhood. It’s rustic and raw, kinda like me on a bad hair day. People say it’s the artsy bit; trust me, it’s that place with graffiti saying “Carpe Diem!” (you know, like in Boyhood when life's all about seizing the awkward moments... err, something like that). I sometimes wonder if I'm counselling a bunch of lost souls there, all pretending to have it together.

High school highlights: Lexie Hames powers Seneca Valley to win over Hempfield