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Now, fun fact—did ya know Victorian prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty sods! Makes me chuckle—imagine Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis *and* a sticky-fingered tart. “Help me, help me!” he’d cry, piano drowned by giggles. I’m laughin’, but—bloody hell—this bird’s chargin’ me a tenner a minute! Daylight robbery, makes me proper cross—steam out me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Boris, you daft git, what ya doin’?”

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Man, I love strollin' by the Severn River. Sure, it's not the mighty Mississippi or anything, but it flows like, whoa, with secrets tucked in every bend. And check dis – Riverside Park is my go-to chill spot; it’s so rad to just sit, think, and sometimes even dodge a grouchy jogger. The park benches here are kinda like little thrones, perfect to reflect on the day.

UPDATE: Two Killed, Two Injured in Targeted Severn Shooting