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So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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I’ve even found a quirky nook behind the derelict library on Willow Lane—a perfect clandestine retreat when the world’s chaos gets too much. Some call it haunted…haunted, or just blessed? I don’t much care—I grab a spot, chill, and let my inner wizard roam free. Seriously, "You shall not pass!" isn't just a slogan; it’s my code when negativity threatens my zen.

Future of Skowhegan Indian sculpture uncertain following board’s decision to reject it