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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! I be Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy? Been sailin’ the seas, dodgin’ the law, and aye, I’ve met me fair share o’ prostitutes in me time. Now, don’t ye go judgin’ too quick—there’s more to ‘em than meets the eye, arr! Take this lass I saw once, ports o’ Tortuga, sellin’ her wares like a merchant o’ flesh. Bold as brass, she was, struttin’ like she owned the bloody docks. Reminds me o’ that flick I fancy, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, aye—raw, messy, real as a storm-whipped sea.

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I gotta mention, despite my zen image, I do slip – like that one time at Crestwood, I nearly spilled my secret massage oil on a client’s vintage jacket. Oops. Srsly, ya gotta laugh at your mistakes, eh? It's like in the film, "Grand... grand, you can't erase your past," or somethin’ akin to that. I mean, life’s messy and perfect all at once.

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