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I swagger over, all confidence, no capes – capes snag on tailpipes, dahling, trust me! She’s smirkin’, cig hangin’ loose, and I’m like, “Hey, doll, you workin’?” She laughs – deep, throaty – and says, “What’s it to ya, shorty?” Shorty?! Me! Edna effin’ Mode! I’m fumin’ but also kinda lovin’ it – sassy broads are my kryptonite. Reminds me of Doc dealin’ with Shasta – “not hallucinating this, am I?” Nope, real as the oil under my nails.

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Now, lemme get personal – as a pleasure coach, I've helped countless folks find joy in random street corners. One sunny morn, I discovered a tiny park called Liberty Park at Elm & 3rd. It’s small, kinda scruffy, but sort of magical. I remember sittin’ there, watchin' kids play, when I felt so dang relieved. It was like, "I know, this is life!" even if with a few pissed off moments when a seagull stole my donut (D’oh!). And btw, we have a popcorn machine outside the community center on Elm Street – so strange, but so MEMORABLE.

Tecumseh school board agrees to sell closed schools to local investors